Inexcusable silence

I've seen a new general practitioner and now have to have my cane AND Charlie, or a walker if I'm alone. My wrists are unreliable, and the theory is to keep me walking as long as possible, and since there's no telling if or when a wrist will be hard to control, that means I need help on both sides.

My insurance is being utterly useless and they maintain that there is no vendor is this State that will accept terms of working with them. We all know the truth, that insurance companies only like healthy people. Screw them! My mom and dad helped hook me up with one so I can stay independent longer. We thought it wouldn't arrive until Tuesday, but I got a phone call that the box arrived today, so after Mass tomorrow, I get to finish measuring up against it and try it out. It's a 4 wheeled walker with seat and basket, and it's pink. I haven't decided quite how we're going to make it all "pimp my ride"ed out, but you know we have to! I can't handle people looking at me with pity. It makes my soul tremble and my skin rankle.

All in all, I'm sorry I've been silent. I've just been having a hard time knowing what to share and what to keep to myself. I've struggled with dementors and haven't had much milk free chocolate handy if you can understand.

Charlie has been a bit of a restless spirit lately. We went to church with our dear friends last Sunday. They are Methodist (love Methodists!), but Charlie and I both forgot and bowed before we entered our pew. I felt like I had a fever I was blushing so hard. I mean, I knew the Eucharist wasn't up there, but it's still the house of God and all those pews, so eh. Oh well. It's better than genuflecting in the movie theater, and my friend from church assured me she felt very embarrassed when she did that! Haha

Anyway, Charlie hasn't been getting enough play time, and I haven't gotten enough vitamin D, so we've gone to the park a bit this past week.

Charlie hardly stands still long enough for pictures. That's him at the water fountain. another dog was there named Charlie too. My Charlie was so totally stoked to hear his name all over the park, and to no longer be the fastest dog running. The other Charlie runs so fast I'm sure he could take down a deer! It was a beautiful thing to watch.

I thought this was hilarious. I'm sorry if it offends anyone.

Charlie majors tries very hard to obey human rules, but the dog park means butt sniffing and marking things, as well as rough play to his heart's content!

That's the other Charlie. He's so darned fast the only picture I have of him is this one. He's a magnificent specimen of his breed though. I've not said it since bringing Charlie majors into my life, but I imagined a "gun dog breed" for a year before meeting my boy. They do the things I want to do when I feel good - running, playing in water, fetch and they have such sweet temperaments. I think God knew best though, because my Charlie is the best at taking care of me at my worst, which there have been some pretty yucky times this Summer.

Their running looks effortless, and like they're just strolling along, but it sounds like horses approaching!

Just a lazy Sunday morning

He is the best nap buddy ever.

Quickly! There's no time to explain!

It's GISHWES time, people!

My team agreed my submission for one of the challenges wouldn't be our official submission, but as an act of solidarity with my team, I destroyed something I've been keeping for the wrong reasons.

I actually feel really happy I did it. I was keeping it because I thought I was being practical, and the item was useful. The reality was, every day I used it and it made me think about the person that gave it to me, and I would replay all the awful things that happened in that relationship.

Bad "karma" destroyed with a ball peen hammer!

Happy gishing, team impala!

Does the mind rule the body?

I saw a specialist today. It was 5 hours at his clinic! I lost count of how many people in scrubs saw my tatas today! haha

I think the most disturbing aspect of today was actually my doctor! (Not that I didn't find his to be particularly brilliant or caring - I did!) He sounded exactly like Leonard Nimoy.

I'll let you imagine lifting your shirt and dropping your bluejeans to be medically examined by Leornard Nimoy. (My husband said he looked like him too, only about 20 years younger than him)

How's your mind handling that mental picture and scenario? Here! Let me help!

 

Anyway, it was totally worth it. I've finally got a diagnosis to explain why I keep passing out! I have a diagnosis of "Neurocardiogenic Syncope". Apparently my brain doesn't know how to regulate my heart rate and blood pressure in coordination with each other, and I will be adding two new medications to my regimen, and salt with everything I eat, in order to keep my blood pressure raised up to the normal people's level.

I'm really relieved to have an answer.

ALSO - on friday I had a HORRIFYING doctor visit. My mom summed it up best - "You know how there are doctors who graduate at the top of their class and field? This one barely graduated." If mom hadn't lost her temper I would have been up the creek. This doctor made me feel like I was a moron, that I didn't take care of myself, that my issues are negligible and not worth attention or help, and I cried the entire visit. Mom losing her temper resulted in us getting in the manager's office, and them taking a deposition of all I was told by the doctor, including her HORRIBLE advice to stop taking my medications cold turkey. They assured us she wouldn't be working with their clinic anymore and then they gave me my co pay back! That made me feel a little better. She was just a temporary doctor for the clinic because my regular doctor has quit practicing medicine. No idea what's going on there.

So, all in all, I think it worked out for the best. The only useful information I got on friday was that my Vitamin D level 3 months ago was 18. That awful doctor said "So you've got Rickets, which is great by the way. Congratulations."